Mothers of kids with special needs have needs, too

By Deborah Cavanagh

I have always loved tennis. I watched John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg as a kid. I roomed with tennis players at Le Moyne College and was their most vocal and consistent fan. I encouraged my children to learn the sport. So it made sense a few years ago when I told the pro at Drumlins Tennis Club I wanted to give lessons a try.

[More]

A teen with special needs, out and about

By Deborah Cavanagh

“Excuse me, I just want to say your daughter is beautiful,” the man says with a smile. “You are clearly doing a wonderful job raising her. You are doing God’s work.”

[More]

Was I ready to give up my job to care for my child full time?

By Deborah Cavanagh

When I was pregnant with my first child, I thought I knew how my working life would change. I had a vision.

[More]

Kids’ conflicting food and exercise needs cause headaches

By Deborah Cavanagh

Parents are bombarded with studies linking children’s lack of activity and overeating to obesity and diabetes. We are informed that our children do not exercise enough, that they sit in front of the television or computer too much, that they eat junk food.

[More]

Hanging ornaments brings it all back

By Deborah Cavanagh

Decorating the Christmas tree marked the beginning of the holiday season when I was young. There are three children in my family: me, my younger brother and my younger sister. We lived in Baldwinsville at the time. Cutting down your own tree was the norm. My dad was a perfectionist when it came to the selection. (I am sure it had much to do with the modifications needed when a “Charlie Brown tree” was chosen.)

[More]

Losing a cat who was more than a pet

By Deborah Cavanagh

Eli was our 3-year-old black-and-white kitty. He was rescued with Marley, his sister, when they were a few weeks old. They were brought by Santa and immediately became part of our family. We felt complete. Father, mother, daughter, son, and brother and sister four-legged critters.

[More]

Teens with special needs want social lives, and so do their parents

By Deborah Cavanagh

Will my teenager choose the right friends? Will he get into a good crowd? Will my child be able to balance academic demands with social activities? Our children’s friendships help to define them as adults. But what if there are no friendships to be had?

[More]

A newborn with Down syndrome is mostly like other infants—only prettier

By Deborah Cavanagh

I learned big lessons from a small person. Four pounds, 10 ounces to be exact.

[More]

A child with special needs attracts favors and treats

By Deborah Cavanagh

No one wants to learn that life isn’t fair. As parents we encourage our children to “play nice,” to share, to try not to hurt other people’s feelings.

[More]

Making it on stage

By Deborah Cavanagh

At 14 years old, my daughter Amanda has found her passion: She wants to be on stage. It started with the High School Musical movies. She then moved to Hannah Montana and Camp Rock. All those kids get to be on stage. They dance. They sing. People applaud. Fun is had by all. What kid wouldn’t want to be them?

[More]

Getting a glimpse into an alternate reality

By Deborah Cavanagh

It may sound crazy, but most of the time I forget that my 14-year-old daughter, Amanda, has Down syndrome. She is just Amanda. Every now and then, though, I get hit with a moment—I call it a whammy—that makes me ponder what life would have been like if that extra chromosome had not occurred. This was one such time.

[More]

Braving an outdoor sport yields a hard-won reward

By Deborah Cavanagh

Going on family road trips is easy when the kids are little. You strap them into their car seats. Head off on your adventure. Make emergency adjustments if needed. Take lots of pictures. And retell your (heavily edited) version when they get older, since they cannot remember a thing.

[More]

A daughter and mother handle the diabetes diagnosis

By Deborah Cavanagh

My first thought was, “Are you kidding me?” My 12-year-old daughter had just been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My second thought was, “How is this going to limit her independence?”

[More]

When seeing is believing

By Deborah Cavanagh

My daughter is generous with her belief. To her, everyone is real: You are who you claim to be. So I am Mom. Brian is Dad. And also Cinderella is Cinderella, and Mary Poppins is Mary Poppins. I get into movies more than the average person. I cry even during cartoons. But in the back of my mind, no matter how wrapped up I am in the story, I know it isn’t real. For Amanda, it is. She believes the character is the person.

[More]